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One day Ah Beng decided to wear his old shoes that is in the closet to church. Upon coming out of his car in the car park, the tip of his shoes was slightly open. Ah he said to himself I think it won’t be so bad just the tip was just a little open. I’ll be back after church service and change my shoes before it opens too wide.
The next time when you are traveling long distance in an airplane here are few suggestions to beat jet lag:
1. The night before the flight eat a lot of crappy food such as any food cooked with crabs. Once you get on the plane the next morning and settle down on your seat you’ll be set for a long slumber and wake up afresh at arrival of your destination.
Deep Thoughts 4 Deep Thinkers!!!
1. Save the whales………collect the whole set.
2. A day without sunshine is like……….. night.
3. On the other hand…….. you have different fingers.
4. 42.7 percent of all statistics……. are made up on the spot.
5. 99 percent of lawyers…… give the rest a bad name.
6. Remember, half the people you know …….are below average.
7. He who laughs last ……..thinks slowest.
8. Depression is merely anger…….. without enthusiasm.
9. The early bird may get the worm………. but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.
10. Support bacteria!!…….. they’re the only culture some people have.
11. A clear conscience……… is usually the sign of a bad memory.
12. Change is inevitable……… except from vending machines.
13. If you think nobody cares……… try missing a couple of payments.
14. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis???………. raise my hand.
15. OK………… so what’s the speed of dark?
16. When everything is coming your way………you’re in the wrong lane.
17. Hard work pays off in the future………laziness pays off now.
18. Every one has a photographic memory…….. some just don’t have film.
19. How much deeper would the ocean be ……..without sponges?
20. Eagles may soar……….. but turkeys don’t get sucked into jet engines.
21. What happens if you get scared half to death……… twice?
22. I couldn’t repair your brakes………… so I made your horn louder.
23. Why do psychics have to ask you……… for your name???
24. Inside every older person………. is a younger person wondering what happened!!!
25. Just remember……….if the world didn’t suck, we would all fall off.
26. Light travels faster than sound………. that’s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
27. Life isn’t like a box of chocolates . . . …..it’s more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.
Geography of Woman
Between 18 and 22, a woman is like AFRICA
….half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally beautiful.
Between 23 and 30, a woman is like EUROPE
….well developed and open to trade, especially for someone of real value.
Between 31 and 35, a woman is like SPAIN
….very hot, relaxed, and convinced of her own beauty.
Between 36 and 40, a woman is like GREECE
….gently aging but still a warm and desirable place to visit.
Between 41 and 50, a woman is like GREAT BRITAIN
….with a glorious and all conquering past.
Between 51 and 60, a woman is like ISRAEL
….has been through war, doesn’t make the same mistakes twice, takes care of business.
Between 61 and 70, a woman is like CANADA
….self-preserving, but open to meeting new people.
After 70, she becomes TIBET
….wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages, an adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge.
Geography of Man
Between 1 and 90, a man is like IRAN
….ruled by nuts.
I actually thought this was a study about sports and success, till I got to the end. If you were like me, you might have choked on your drink and burst out laughing!
Don’t you think the comparison is SO TRUE? There’s been so much written about men and their obsession with the size of their body parts (balls being one of them), this ad was just waiting to be made.
Jokes aside, I can’t wait till they come up with a study between social status and wheels, or women or computer gadgets … The tagline can potentially leave you needing CPR.
Now which of you is brave enough to forward this to your boss? I’m sure you are dying to find out how BIG are his BALLS? Well, I hope he has a REALLY GOOD sense of humour…. and your paycheck is safely in your bank account!